me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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