She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
