so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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