I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
