I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
