I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
