too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize