omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize