as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
