Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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