hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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