Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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