It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
