In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
