Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
