Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
