I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
