You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
