mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
