just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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