put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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