i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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