Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club

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(847): View more from Illinois

Do vagina's smell?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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(775): View more from Nevada

Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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(509): View more from Washington

Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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(312): View more from Illinois

That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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(845): View more from New York

I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.

(415): View more from California

If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.

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