Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
