well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
