No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
