Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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