Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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