help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
