Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
