He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
