You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
