I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
