so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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