she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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