he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
