Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
