Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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