do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
