So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
