Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
