Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
