I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
