Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
worst night to have a conscience
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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