soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
