3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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