Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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