How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
