Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize