I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
