3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
