My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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