This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize