Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
