she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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