it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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