I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
