at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize