Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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