I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
