I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We talked him into tasing himself.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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