what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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